So Relax

So Relax, that's the name of the massage place Korean torture chamber at the mall. OH MY GOD I swear I have just been violated. First of all let me just say that the word "relax" does not translate in Korean, I think in Korean it means "kick this ladies ass". My husband and I strolled into the storefront this evening to each get a 15 minute massage. Well let me tell you it was quite an experience. For the first five minutes I was waiting for someone to jump out and tell me I was on candid camera. My massage began with a woman, a smallish woman who had to lay her whole body on me to reach my shoulders. I am only 5'3". So as if her laying up against me wasn't awkward enough she then started my "massage". I seriously thought I was going to cry she was hurting me so bad, then all of a sudden mid-massage we had a "change" a man (who I like to think is her husband) started giving me a massage (hello, can we say awkward again). He thought it was a good idea to start that whole pounding thing that they do, which I totally don't get but whateves. Then he took my arms one a time and put them behing my back and made sounds as he pulled each one of my fingers, like a popping noise. I am not kidding their were sound effects. Oh and I forgot to mention that the whole time this was going on instead of soothing spa type music, all I could hear was the kiddie train's whistle blowing away on the lower level of the mall and all of the workers, (massage therapists) talking back and forth very loudly and I am pretty sure I heard one of them say "good job, I think you are going to leave bruises on the chubby ladies back."