Happy Birthday Mom

Dear Mom,
Today is your birthday. Well even though you aren't here we celebrated anyway. I made your favorite dinner, barbecued chopped chicken salad and Allison baked you a bundt cake just like she did last year.
I have to tell you mom these last 46 days or so have been really tough. I miss you so much. I think about you all the time and so many times I reach for the phone to call you.
 I know today would have been kind of a big deal to you because you talked about wanting to live until your birthday all the time. I am so sorry that you didn't make it. I am so sorry that you had to suffer so much.
Your friends have been so good to me and they really miss you too. I think tonight I will call Irene and see how she is doing, she is really sad without you.
I know I didn't say it enough, and I am so sorry for not saying it more but mom I love you. I wish that we wouldn't have argued so much. Now that you are gone I realize how much I relied on you for support, advice and just someone to vent to. You were a great mom to have and I am so lucky that I had you for the 41 years that I did.
I hope that you have found some peace and that you are with Dad and Mike. Everyone says that you are.
I hate being without you guys but I am glad that you all have each other.
Your grand daughters miss you so much too mom. They talk about you quite often. We always imitate you and say things that we think you would have said. I am so thankful for the time that they spent with you and for well they knew you. You were an amazing grandma to them and they will never forget you.
Well I am going to go wipe my tears, suck it up and have some of your birthday cake mom.
Happy Birthday.
Love,
Nina